


School Spirit

by lameafpun



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Puns & Word Play, The Scooby Gang (BtVS)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lameafpun/pseuds/lameafpun
Summary: Xander likes to think of himself as a good friend.Scratch that, he’s the best kind of friend and he’s not afraid to say it. He offers the best kind of support, emotional or otherwise, and if there were any kinds of doubt before this than he’s sure this would push him over.or:xander writes down all the good one liners he can think of for Buffy, but good is subjective.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	School Spirit

Xander likes to think of himself as a good friend.

Scratch that, he’s the best kind of friend and he’s not afraid to say it. He offers the best kind of support, emotional or otherwise, and if there were any kinds of doubt before this than he’s sure this would push him over.

“So, Buffy,” He bounces the pen between his fingers, “Feelings about ‘get staked.’ Too cut and dry? Not blunt enough?”

Buffy’s nose is buried in a book, pressed side to side with Willow who is paging quickly through an old tome Giles had dragged out. Something to do with specialized kinds of demons. Was it demons? The cover said - well actually he couldn’t read what it said. It looks like someone had tried finger-painting and, upon finding it too messy, renewed their efforts with chicken fingers repurposed as brushes dipped in barbecue sauce, specifically those from the cafeteria. Chunky.

“‘You’re getting boo-ted out?’ Y’know, cause ‘boo?’”

Willow looks up at him with a smile. “That sounds wonderful, Xander.”

“A-ha! I’m full of zingers, I know. But seriously, what do you think about ‘get staked?’ Or,” Xander looks back down on his notebook, “‘You’re looking under seasoned. Good thing I brought the salt.’ I’ll be honest, that one probably isn’t my best work but in the right circumstances I think it could really elevate an exorcism.”

“Did you - is that a notebook of one liners?” 

“Yep.” He pops the ‘p.’ “Good ole Scooby Gang just doesn’t feel right without a few on hand, y’know? For emergencies.”

“I - “ 

“I’ve found something.” Giles emerges from behind the book stacks with another ancient looking book in hand, glasses just the slightest degree askew. “The ragged appearance and timing of its appearance holds the most similarity with something called an afternoon wraith - “

“How do we kill it?”

Ah, Buffy, Xander thinks, straight to the point as always.

Wait.

Straight to the point! Stakes! Xander, you’re a genius!

By the time he’s scribbled it down - after patting himself on the back - both Buffy and Willow are ready and halfway to the library door.

“Wait for me!”

They do not, but Xander catches up in no time and is already flipping to the section in his notebook labeled “spirits/ghosts.”

“So I don’t have a section dedicated to wraiths buuuuuuut I think a few of these can be repurposed.”

Buffy snorts. “I think this is the most effort you’ve put into anything, Xander.”

“Uh, false. I spent years training to be a fireman when I was younger. It was grueling, thankless work but ultimately fed my very soul in ways you just can’t understand.”

“Willow?”

“He got a megaphone and spent a week as the neighborhood’s fire siren. Even when there wasn’t any fire. It was very sweet watching you go around telling people about fire safety, though.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him.

“And! And I ran circuits - with _weights_ on - to train for rescuing people in burning buildings. I was pretty hot stuff when I was a kid, if I do say so myself.”

There’s a sigh from both of them at that, and Xander grins.

“On the subject of that - I have a few things for when we crash this wraith’s party.” He clears his throat. “‘We got you a housewarming gift. Boo-berry pie.’ And then, you know, Buffy can go in with the slay-age and when she inevitably prevails Willow can come in with ‘You just came to a dead end. And we want the glassware back.’ From the pie. The - the boo-berry pie.”

“Xander, I don’t think the wraith is going to be really intimidated by baked goods _or_ questionable wordplay.”

“Ah, ye of little wraith.”

**Author's Note:**

> the first tag that comes up when you search "puns" is "bad puns" and WRONG there are no bad puns you hEATHEN


End file.
